"Americans have different ways of saying things. They say `elevator', we say `lift'...they say `President', we say `stupid psychopathic git'...."

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

"Remind me to write an article on the compulsive reading of news. The theme will be that most neuroses can be traced to the unhealthy habit of wallowing in the troubles of five billion strangers."

"No coward sould is mine, No trembler in the world's storm-toubled sphere: I see Heaven's glories shine, And faith shines equale, arming me from fear."

"Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything."

"I propose getting rid of conventional armaments and replacing them with reasonably priced hydrogen bombs that would be distributed equally throughout the world."

"Oft expectations fails, and most oft there Where most it promises; and oft it hits Where hope is coldest, and despair most fits."

"Death hath so many doors to let out life."

"Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor."

"The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work."

"From my rotting body, flowers shall grow, and I am in them, and that is eternity."

"The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know."